And how can I continue to live when he / she was everything to me for 5.6, 10, 15 years? We broke up and after 2-3 months he / she is already with another продължи It went on so fast without me! He didn’t even bother to explain to me, to talk, to fight for us! It doesn’t suffer for me at all! Did I mean so little to her / him ?!
We ask these questions as if the amount of suffering determines and measures the quality of love, and most of all my significance! If they don’t suffer for me, then I’m not worth it !!!
Do you know the feeling? Me too!
There is hardly anyone who does not have it.
There is hardly anyone who has not experienced this huge amount of pain, as if they cut every inch of your skin with a razor!
And you bleed to infinity! And the blood doesn’t stop!
And it doesn’t expire! And the agony does not end…
A very common situation, especially during this interesting and transformative 2020!
If you’ve been through this and need another perspective, this article is for you.
Even if you have not personally gone through this experience now, I am sure that someone around you is or will be.
This information can be useful for you to be able to help him / her!
So, let’s dive deep! 🙂
This article is not intended to condemn or criticise your decisions or point of view. These are my personal thoughts and if they don’t resonate with you, you can ignore them!
Perspective 1 – The position of “Why is it happening to me”?
“How do I move forward?” How can I stop feeling insignificant, as if parts of my life have been irretrievably taken away and thrown away as unnecessary packaging? How can I stop feeling bad enough after such a performance ?, What is wrong with me ?, Where did I go wrong ?, What is the other person (s) that I don’t have? ”…
I can continue with the drama, but I won’t! 🙂 I think he understood what I meant. This is luggage that will weigh a lot on you if you decide to carry it throughout your life!
The drama and the role of the victim do not help. So we can’t learn our lessons!
Everything I described above is just a lesson! Hard lesson, yes! But a lesson!
And the more it hurts, the more we are called to change! Towards transformation!
Still, that doesn’t change the fact that it hurts unbearably, does it?
And do we wonder why we suffer? Are we wondering what is suffering in our country? What hurts? Do we sit down with ourselves for coffee and conversation, and do we ask ourselves these questions? Questions you would ask your best friend if he were you.
The soul can only love! The ego is what suffers! Unfulfilled dreams hurt! Unjustified expectations and betrayed trust scream that love does not exist!
We feel sorry for ourselves, we criticize ourselves, we condemn ourselves, we hate each other – we hang in this state for months and years and we don’t get bored! It is as if we are fed by our drama and our pain!
Events that happened years ago, we experience them every day in our heads, over and over again, constantly returning to the memory of the pain of rejection!
We refuse to get out of the drama! We defend it at the cost of our lives! At the cost of your friendships, your family!
We choose the pain and the story we tell each other over everything and everyone! And we live with her! Only with her! For her! Because there is no room for another!
Because identifying with this pain, I am significant! Because only suffering, I know who I am!…
We rinse rivers and grind snot, ordering: He / she / was the Love of my life!
We continue to be convinced that this is the right person for us and now he is irretrievably lost! We go crazy thinking that “my man” is with someone else now!
Poor thing, I was left alone and no one will want me! Because I am so insignificant that no one else will want to be with me!….
And so to the endless! Such stories revolve in our heads like a broken record, until at some point something in us says: ENOUGH! CAN`T DO IT NO MORE! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Understand that no matter how much you love, want and appreciate someone, that someone CANNOT be your great, true and only love you long for, if he/she DOES NOT CHOOSE YOU! Doesn’t he choose you, he’s not your man! PERIOD!
What is this addictive need to suffer, to have drama, to feel sorry for ourselves, to be in pain, to belittle ourselves… ???
Trauma! Trauma and trauma again! They are responsible for this unhealthy behaviour! But that’s another topic 🙂.
I believe it would be nice to part with gratitude, not drama!
“We tried, but it didn’t work. Thanks for the experience! Be happy!”
Ask yourself: What did I learn from this relationship? Make an audit – where you did the right thing and where you “wrong” and move on!
Perspective 2 – The position of the Soul
For me, the right person is the one who chooses to be with you and you choose to be with him / her !!
I do not belittle your feelings! I do not mock or deny the intensity of your emotions! After all, I am in a human body and nothing is foreign to me! Mostly this topic…
Looking through this perspective, every single person in our life is the right person! Because everyone brings with them a lesson we have chosen to learn!
These lessons are chosen before the soul incarnates in concrete life. The so-called destiny (theme of life), family, colleagues, relatives, partners, children, neighbours are carefully selected… Each participant, event, place… Everything is pre-selected. And every lesson is desired by the soul in advance! And each of us is both a teacher and a student at the same time. In the same situation, everyone learns different things! Cool a!
I believe that we have also chosen backup options. In case we fail to learn a lesson, to have more opportunities (people, situations) to learn it. I think we can give up a lesson! We will learn it another time… That’s how I want to believe 🙂
We are multidimensional beings.
Each of us “consists” of a Higher Self (Soul) and a Lower Self (Avatar).
The Higher Self is in constant contact with the Lower Self and vice versa (although it is not realized). The two are inseparable parts of a whole.
The avatar, unlike the Higher Self, has no idea what is happening to him in this dimension.
Amnesia is born (although more and more people remember who they are). Growing up, he accumulates all the necessary ‘tools’ and learns how to handle them.
I like to imagine it as an electronic game. There are levels and after each new level, the avatar acquires a new set of tools, earns points, and if he fails – repeats the level. 🙂
There is an option to change the way the avatar looks, where it lives, who it is with, what car it drives… (at the moment I remember a specific game that my daughter plays).
The avatar is a perfect sequel to the Main Player – the Soul!
The Higher Self (the Soul holding the joystick), on the other hand, has a much broader perspective on the Avatar’s life because it “stands on a rock” and sees the entire valley in which the Avatar “wanders.” Only there is no wandering, the directions are always nearby and wherever you go it is always right. Even if you do not see the whole picture and do not have access to the map, there are always signs that suggest the way.
The Higher Self communicates with the Lower Self through the senses, i.e. through our intuition. These sudden pulls or inexplicable decisions that divert us from the regular route or we go absolutely “recklessly” abroad… This is the language of our soul. And the more we listen to that voice, the better it gets louder!
One day I listened to my daughter, who is a big PlayStation fan, talk to herself as she played, “What if I got out of here?”
And it hit me like a train:
What if my soul does the same? If you experiment the same way with me (avatar)? If I go from here, if I do this or that?…
After all, the purpose of the soul is to have an experience, to gain practical experience. To expand, to grow! The soul wants an experience! She doesn’t care if you pay your rent, but what do you feel when you do it or fail! 🙂
In fact, why do we come here as avatars?
Imagine that you have read all the books on how you can assemble a wardrobe, but you have never assembled it. You have no idea what it feels like to drive a nail, how you have to hold a hammer, how much the door you are trying to mount on the hinges weighs, what it feels like when you touch its surface, etc.
There’s a big difference, isn’t there? 🙂
Practice (experience) is very important for the Soul!
The more you practice it, the more confident you will become!
We all know that!
This is the idea – the soul “descends” into this dimension to put into practice what it already knows in theory.
I like to imagine it as if I have “put on” this body as a suit. Through it I can “operate” in this dimension. It gives me a feeling of movement, time, space, touch, pain, pleasure, happiness, sadness, lack, fullness ..
Just as a diver wears a diving suit and adorns himself with all sorts of gadgets to maximize his underwater experience, so the soul needs a body to have a unique, individual experience.
In the closest relationships, the lessons are of the strongest intensity! Through them the soul grows and learns quickly. There the exam is the most difficult and the lessons the most important!
Therefore, thank each soul that has chosen to play a specific role for you (as you play for her), so that you have a chance to learn the lessons you have chosen to learn!
Even if you don’t believe from a 3D perspective, this soul loves you very much! If she has chosen to incarnate in this density to help you learn something, then she is close to you up there! 🙂
Even if he is the greatest “tyrant” in your life, your souls love each other! This is important! This life is a blink for the soul!
How will you learn to forgive if there is no one to betray you?!
We are still learning through pain and suffering! And if you are in pain, then the other person has done a good job. He / she pressed the right button to activate the lesson.
Now it’s your turn to find the blessings in the situation and go to the next level! If you fail, the lesson will be repeated until you learn it! <3
And as Bashar, whom I deeply respect, says,
We are infinite and immortal beings. Why we are in a hurry? If we do not learn it in this life, we will learn it one day and somewhere!
So… Inhale! Exhale! Don’t take yourself so seriously!
Life is supposed to be fun – Abraham
You are safe! Physical reality is an illusion, only the experience is real!
And that`s why it is so precious to be here at this very moment to the planet Earth!
Enjoy it to the fullest!
Remember that only this planet has chocolate! 🙂
Eat, learn and love!
P.S. In case you can’t cope with a challenge in your life alone, book an appointment for a personal consultation with me!